Spam, Spam, Eggs, Bacon, Spam and Spam...or so it would seem. These days, junk mail in your 'snail mail' box is apparently not enough spam-mail for one person to get daily. No, now we have to learn to deal with e-mailed spam! Pretty soon, we're going to have to learn to deal with cell phone spam, iPod spam, Blackberry spam and, if we're not careful, a random 'drive-by spamming' every once in awhile.
According to the newest data, everyone seems to be getting used to spam. No matter what kind it is, for some odd reason, people are just simply not flinching anymore when they get 20 - 30 e-mails from people they do not know, for products, services or promotional specials that they will never want, at any time, for any reason... EVER. I seriously cannot think of one person on the face of this planet who is going to drop everything, so he or she can break the land speed record to the telephone and dial a useless 1-800 number, for home-owner's insurance! Much less anything else.
I hate to even walk to my mailbox everyday. I know full well that there will be almost nothing but junk mail that will end up being thrown in the 'round file', never to be read, looked at and only handled once....from the mailbox, directly into the trash can. I do not care what is on sale at 3 different grocery stores. I have no need to run out to Walmart for a sale on children's products and lawn tools. I already have good car insurance, and I do not have a mortgage on my home that I want to refinance for ANYTHING. I do not care about seeing movies on DvD that will cost me far more than seeing the movie in the theaters (which is why I saved myself a ton of money by not seeing this crap at all, thank you very much). I do not want to purchase collectable statues of anything, nor do I wish to enroll in any college programs at home.
I do not want to purchase fancy checks, checks with cartoons on them, checks with animals on them, checks that save everything from whales to elephants and back again. I do not want belt buckles, NASCAR plates, Disney ornaments, Bugs Bunny blankets or specialized name-engraved wood clocks. I do not want name labels, stamping labels, or labels of any kind. Nor do I wish to have anything to do with something called "Prescious Moments" just because those cutsy little things look like beets, with limbs and clothing.
So for all of you so-called 'smart' advertisers and marketers out there, here's a little hint from someone who REALLY gets the idea behind spam. STOP SENDING EVERYONE YOUR JUNK!!! No one wants the crap! You are wasting your money on this form of advertising! And, while I understand the idea behind the "laws of numbers"... here's another little hint. They don't work! Re-configure your law of numbers ok? That law is completely useless in this century. Now, if you were living back in the Victorian Era, and trying to sell someone Ice chests in Alaska, yes, the law of numerics MIGHT be to your advantage. Not anymore.
Here's what I'd like to see you do with your spam crap. Just for the sake of arguement, have any of these companies ever considered not sending the spam and advertisements out, but instead of saving the money used to MAKE all this crap, and pay people to distribute it... maybe, oh, I don't know... use it for something like.... LOW COST HOUSING FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE?!? Maybe build a half-way house someplace? I know.. build it right in your area. That way, the people will not only no longer be homeless, they can come work for you!! Now see, there's an idea. What do you say? Give that idea a shot?
I mean seriously think about this. How freaking stupid does someone have to be, to pay out huge sums of money, to produce papers and advertisements that are only going to a few certain places? I can think of a few places these ads go just off the top of my head. Cat boxes, garbage bags, trash bins, wood stoves (paper makes for a fantastic fire starter), wrapping/packing paper for those who need additional junk paper for their good china and crystal... did I mention the cat box?
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